I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
