i think my tv is drunk
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The adults are the big ones right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
