If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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