Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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