I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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