She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
