are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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