Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
