Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
