I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
