chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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