i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
