This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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