if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My feet surprised me
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