Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
