i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
how drunk are you?
Several
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
