No stitches, just platelets and will power
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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