He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
