yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
