it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
we're so committed to being not committed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
