PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
