I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
