so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
