to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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