great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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