walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
