holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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