One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
