Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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