i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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