Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
