I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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