I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
