I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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