We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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