Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
