Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
