When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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