She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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