It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
