okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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