I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
