if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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