How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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