We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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