Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize