He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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