Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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