I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
