sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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