nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
