im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I look better un-naked...
he thought i was a dude.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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