What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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