critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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