I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was CRYING into my vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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