this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
