That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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