it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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