Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
