wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want to fling myself into the sun