Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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(310): The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss. http://tfl.nu/o71q

Replies (23) Good night (1607) Bad night (5036)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.

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(443): I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/l068

Replies (25) Good night (1668) Bad night (6918)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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(610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi

Replies (70) Good night (4037) Bad night (729)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"

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(314): I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina" http://tfl.nu/4mpo

Replies (14) Good night (3997) Bad night (1173)
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(937): View more from Ohio

He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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(937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z

Replies (46) Good night (6201) Bad night (8878)
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(530): View more from California

As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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(530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy

Replies (22) Good night (14430) Bad night (1293)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem

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(847): I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem http://tfl.nu/9xlk

Replies (16) Good night (5448) Bad night (1171)
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(989): View more from Michigan

we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.

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(989): we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through. http://tfl.nu/1jmj

Replies (9) Good night (3236) Bad night (760)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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(814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp

Replies (3) Good night (1858) Bad night (765)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.

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(508): This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies." (401): I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are. http://tfl.nu/26v4

Replies (17) Good night (5301) Bad night (1036)
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(518): View more from New York

I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex

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(518): I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex http://tfl.nu/h730

Replies (10) Good night (2817) Bad night (686)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did she buy you pizza?

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(610): the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around. (215): did she buy you pizza? http://tfl.nu/k5jd

Replies (9) Good night (2405) Bad night (782)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

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(757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q

Replies (5) Good night (1740) Bad night (557)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.

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(901): oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home. http://tfl.nu/ixn7

Replies (5) Good night (897) Bad night (1241)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

My boob is missing a layer of skin

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(870): My boob is missing a layer of skin http://tfl.nu/09nj

Replies (8) Good night (400) Bad night (987)

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