u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
