So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?