Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...