She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we made out on top of his cat.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
