i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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