Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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