do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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