epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
