Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
